So, I feel as if I'm in a beautiful place right now. I am not a bit anxious to be home but at the same time, I know it is fast approaching. I am starting to look forward to going home and seeing my friends but I'm neither consumed by it or dreading it. I am loving every minute of being here.

Dom, my main LIT, has finally opened up to me. After a long summer of one word answers and plenty of jokes, he has finally allowed me to see a part of his heart. Everyday I have with these kids proves more and more that God wants to use me in a powerful way. Dom has been on this kick lately calling me a hick. I really don't think he knows what a hick is... but none the less it's pretty funny. One day this week he came up to me acting all tough and cool and asked how we were going to continue this relationship thing when I go back to hickville. My heart smiled because of how he was trying to act all cool but his heart was very visible. He gave me his phone number and then he told me that he would come visit me and go line dancing with me in hick country. Tasha, my other LIT, and I have been getting really close. We go shopping together and out to eat. It's really cool to see a 15 year old hang out with a bunch of college girls. It brings a lot of laughter and silliness into the mix. I see a compassionate heart in Tasha the more time I spend with her. She cares for those who are hurting. I can see a lot of myself in her.

This summer has been the best thing to ever happen to me. I have cried and laughed (A LOT). I have loved and been loved in return (A LOT). I have matured into more of the woman God wants me to be. I've learned a lot and been blessed a lot. I have finally had some significant progress in my journey toward healing. And it was something that was allowed, even encouraged here. Every time I found a reason to give up and keep my heart hard, someone came along and told me that that wasn't allowed. I have spent a significant part of my life being so hard on myself that at times I felt as if I couldn't breathe underneath the pressure. Coming to a place where the people refused to let me be hard on myself during this particular part of my journey changed my life. I hated everyone around at first because I felt as though they were lying to me, telling me I'm beautiful, and that it's okay to feel angry and sad about unjust things that happen to me. My strongholds were screaming at me because they were no longer safe in the place they had created in my heart. But God is changing that. More and bigger holes are being chiseled out of my thick cocoon where God's light is shining though brighter and brighter everyday.

I look forward to going home and sharing with my friends all the amazing things God has done in me and through me this summer!

Half Way Point

As of yesterday at 12pm I completed half of my summer here at the Pittsburgh Project. I'm swimming in a sea of emotion right now. I feel like I am falling more in love with God everyday, I'm here. The other day in my quiet time I asked God if he loved me. He said, "Yes!" But then here's where it gets deep. I asked God if he loved that scared and hurt little girl inside my heart, and do want to know what He said? He said, "Yes, especially her!" Two weekends ago I got the opportunity to have a glimpse of what it would be like to hold God's hand and touch His face. I have learned that if you accept love properly, it won't become something you crave selfishly. I have had love lavished upon me in so many ways this summer and I look forward to showering it back on God every time. Another thing I have learned is that we need to love people in their love language. My love language is physical touch (can't beat a good hug!). So I look forward to find ways to lavish love on my brothers and sisters when I get home.

I've also made another decision since being here. I have decided that my life is better when I lay it at the Lord's feet. Before coming to Pittsburgh for the summer, I prayed that they wouldn't hire me so I couldn't go. I almost decided to call them and tell them I wasn't coming. But I decided to give God's way a try. This summer has been the best thing that could have ever happened to me. Because of that I have decided that God's way is always so much better than my way.

Could you all please pray for one of my leadership students who works with me. Last Sunday he was at the Pirates/CUBS game and one of his friends didn't show up. The reason he didn't show up was because he was shot in the head and rushed to the hospital. Later that evening he died. My LIT went to the hospital and heard the devastating news. He showed up to work on Monday and seemed fine. But then all day he was rapping songs that had to do with shooting people in the head. My heart hurts for him. This is so common in the neighborhoods these kids live in. In the last 2 weeks we've had 3 people shot to death on the North side of Pittsburgh. The gun shots were easy to mask because of the fireworks on the Fourth of July. Pray that the kids in those neighborhoods are kept safe and that their hearts don't become harden.

Love you all!